Here’s how it all goes down…
This is my Year of Yes! I am here. I will dance. I will meet the coolest, friendliest woman. And I will have a kick ass time! This is gonna be great!
2. OMG I’m dancing and I’m sober.
What was I thinking going somewhere to dance sober? I don’t know what my body is doing. What if everyone is watching me and they hate me and I get banned for making the worst dance move ever?
3. This is actually pretty fun…
Alright I’ve got this… I like dancing! I mean I dunno if I’ll get drunk off of dancing but I’ll just have a sip of… oh wait…
4. IDGAF I’M FLAWLESS.
5. I can fly!
My arms have sprouted silk wings and I’m soaring around the room like a ballerina unicorn.
6. I can get experimental with shit.
My dance tells the story of a chandelier giving birth to the matriarchy. Who’s using their Avant Garde Theatre degree now, Mom?!
7. I CAN DANCE TO ANYTHING!
Old School R&B? Lemme slide into that. 80s pop? I will hop around like the Enegizer Bunny on meth. Riot Grrrl song? I will head bang until my neck snaps because I AM DANCE MONSTER!
8. Dance monster tired…
Ok… so binge watching all seasons of “Game of Thrones” has not kept me in the best shape. I’m going to recover in child’s pose until my muscles forgive me.
9. Second wind!
Wait a minute… This next song is my jam!! I’m back for the last fast song and I will tear the floor so hard it’ll turn into confetti and then fly into the air to celebrate my awesomeness!
10. I did it!
I am now a fully self-actualized human being. I’ve transcended all other humans and joined my DDPPLA sisters in a new reality, a reality where I can dance with total freedom.
But also I REALLY need to shower.